29th September
2007
It’s difficult to watch Dad decline – I hear it in their voices as we talk. Today, Computer son and I were having a great phone visit and the conversation came around to care for Dad and respite for me (or is it vice versa:)? Anyway, after the renos are complete and Christmas has come and gone, Mom gets serious about 4 hours 2 times a week. To start.
He had a good point that it’s probably good for Dad, also, as long as he’s comfortable with the person. Go for walks, the library, coffee or just sit and talk.
I love taking him places and roaring around but it’s time for some “me” time. This is not going to be easy the first time. Any suggestions?
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“I love taking him places and roaring around but it’s time for some “me” time. This is not going to be easy the first time. Any suggestions?”
No real suggestions, just an agreement that you need to do this, both for you and for him.
I remember Dad getting so tired (and looking old) that he held onto the walls as he walked around the house. It’s that 24-hour care that drains you; you can’t even sleep without an ear cocked, just in case.
I went the same route with an aunt; my doctor had to insist that I get help before I landed in hospital, leaving her alone in the house. My aunt wasn’t happy about having someone else care for her for a few hours, but I got some real sleep and some “alone time”, and in the end, was more patient and resourceful with my aunt.
And I do have a suggestion, after all; the first “time out”, do nothing. Go to one of your favourite quiet sitting places, alone, and sit. Wait for your self to catch up with you before you make plans.
I like wanderin’ weeta’s suggestion. You really do need quiet time – away. I think your blogging helps you to reflect but getting “away” will be the best medicine for rejuvination.
I agree with the other two commenters. You’ll a much better perspective on things if yu can get away for a bit.
My twins were premature and required a huge time commitment day and night. I loved them dearly, but after 3 months of being in a housecoat except for doctors’ appointments, my wise grandmother told me I had to get out for a few hours a week “to look at something else”. I did start by going to the public library and sitting there reading a book for a couple of hours. Your situation is similar in many ways, but it is hard to relinquish control at times. My outings were good for me and the twins.