Archive for September, 2007

Can’t thank you folks enough who comment and give me encouragement. I really was under the assumption W someday wouldn’t know or respond to me. You’ve set my mind at rest. If it happens it happens, but it’s nice to know it’s not a given.

Thank you all, again.

Hopefully someone else will read this and get comfort.

I have only attended 4 caregiver meetings because I am not comfortable with the attitude of other caregivers. That is not to mean their approach is wrong, just not my approach.

My sister was at a luncheon with me and we couldn’t believe that words esp. the women quoted as their conversation with their spouse. One lady was a patient of mine and didn’t see me. Not knowing her spouse was good because her attitude was not. I was sick at heart.

Living this isn’t easy but it’s not a license to treat (helpless, innocent) people poorly – or anyone else for that matter.

Maybe this is how their marriages worked pre-Alzheimer’s.

My sister was at a function and said the relatives of a gentleman with Alzheimer’s treated him with disdain and as if to say to him, “Smarten up.” She was horrified for him and wonders how he is doing – hoping he was in care now.
Happy House Update
On a happy note, we chose our laminate for the house and should get started next week. We wanted a deep, rich walnut and got it. Think I have found the carpet I want but my mind was whirling so I will check back! Right now my choice is chocolate or a forest green. Still have to buy new light switches and plug covers and light fixtures. Our house is 20 years old so in need of an update. (Too bad we can’t just go buy new body parts:)

I am very blessed in that I know a lot of people and the fellow doing the reno’s is a (former) patient so I trust him completely.Painter comes Thursday to do touch ups and also a couple walls. W built me a beautiful bookcase for my recipes books and painter is painting it before the floor is done. Will take before and afters – usually a person forgets what it looked like!

We live in the country now and actually I’m updating with a mind to sell once it doesn’t matter to W. He loves this house but it would be so much better in the city for both of us. All our doctors, dentist, etc. are “in town”.

About a year ago I decided it would be helpful to have a physical identifying bond with W. It was something that I hoped would help him recognize me spiritually beyond the time he forgets me physically. The day is coming from what I understand, that Alzheimer’s patients eventually do not recognize family members and friends.

One night as we talked in bed, I suggested a “secret code” only he and I would know. Explained it was for coming out of anesthetic or if one were knocked unconscious, for example. I understand those were not good examples but they worked for my purposes of setting up the code.

So we agreed on a physical touching “code” and every night since, while telling him I love him, use the code. He would respond likewise.

Last night he tried coding as we said good night and he wasn’t able to.

Hopefully he will remember my touch.

Have spent hours getting ready for a fellow to come in and do some work for me. As I go thru the house, I see a plug-in missing it’s plate or a split in an edge that needs replacing.

I’ve had it so lucky for so many years that it really hits me. It’s not that the hired guy won’t repair it for me, it’s that my guy would have gone happily to his shop and had it done in minutes.

He’d come in the house, do the job and smile at me with, “Anything else?”