So I gave Brian the royal tour and reminded him that it’s very easy to lock yourself out if using the family room door. He nodded and announced he was going to have a nap – maybe my tour did it to him – cause we had just got up. Still in PJ’s – coffees in hand. W still sleeping.

Ok, I’ll just set this board by Dad’s shop door (outside of the family room door). Fiddled round for a bit and then grabbed the board and went outside. The moment it closed, I knew I was doomed. No keys on me. (The door handle lock allows you to open the door even if you don’t turn the dojiggy thing to “unlock” – that will be changed!)

I’m in a short sleeve PJ top with Capri bottoms and those black cloth slippers. Did I mention it was raining, windy and about 4 degrees? Usually I carry the cell and land line around with me but I’ll just be a minute – a looong minute, as it turns out. After a moment of panic, I collected my thoughts and decided to crawl over our fence. It’s a 4′ chain link all around the yard and the deck is surrounded by 4′ wrought iron. All gates have locked locks due to the pool. Lovely. Did you know old people often fall and break bones or in my case, succumb to hypothermia?

I looked in the patio door and the cat was smiling at me – if I could get my hands on you right about now, Cat. “Unlock the door, push the handle. I’ll give double rations for the rest of your (short) life. Go get Dad, go get Brian.” The cat stretched and rolled over on his nice warm blankie – still smiling.

Anyway, I climbed over the 4′ railing hung on for dear life in those crazy slippers. It’s about 3′ down from the railing so I jumped backwards – expecting to spring away, leaping like a teenager. Kerplop! Fell on my back and a bit winded – all I could think of was all the bird seed and bird poop on my backside and maybe the remains of an unfortunate bird or two.

So my trials were now just starting – in my wisdom, I had unplugged the doorbell so W wouldn’t be disturbed!!!! The phones were inside and my neighbors were gone. Ok, I’ll just tap on Brian’s window – Ok, it’s 6′ up there – I have long arms but not quite – so I find a chair which didn’t instill confidence in me but I was desperate and very cold by now. Then I found a piece of branch and tapped on his window – finally I was banging on it – well, as much as a branch can bang.

Heaven – he peered out wondering what crazy person was disturbing his nap – “Hi, it’s me, Brian. You know that door I was telling you about – - -