Last night we were enjoying the tree lights – I noticed a kitchen chair in the living room – “Would you please take that chair to the kitchen?” Willingly he grabbed the chair,”Where’s the kitchen?” Told him “where the kitchen table is.” Up the 2 steps to the dining room, off to the kitchen – and then he was lost. He stood in front of the stove and swiveled his head around as he headed to the back entry. At this point I got up to help.
My sister commented on how well he presented for the holidays with all the company. He did do well. As long as nothing is asked of him. We all laughed and talked and had a great time.Everyone was so kind to him and included him.
Sure you folks are wondering why I still ask him to do things when probably he cannot – because I forget his disability – and that book said people with Alzheimer’s still want to be helpful. That is so true – he is so willing – - -
3 Comments
If he enjoys helping, maybe you could ask him to do very simple things that won’t require his memory – like handing your shoes directly or any other little task that won’t require him to walk around looking for the right room. That must be hard for you and him, also.
Good idea, Mary.
I read somewhere, years ago, a comment about the difference in instructions by women versus by men. The writer said women give generalities, men specifics.
The comment may have been too much of a blanket statement to be true, (and it certainly doesn’t appply to your instructions to W) but it set me thinking and observing. And it changed the way I taught.
One thing that may be helpful in this situation is to remember never to rely on information that may not be available at the moment, and never to introduce more data than is needed when there is confusion.
With Alzheimer’s, sometimes that unavailable info consists of vocabulary. Or maybe it’s just the difficulty of remembering more than two things at a time. Like “chair” and “kitchen” and “kitchen table”.
I don’t know if it would help to use body language, pointing, “Up there,” and avoiding introducing more objects.
Or, as Mary said, keeping requests very simple. One-step procedures, or at the most, two.
It’s great that he does try to help. I’m still amazed at his willingness — mostly — to shovel snow. That’s hard work!