Main image

22nd February
2008
written by JeanMac

Today was so difficult and weird. We went to the library and the thrift shop he likes for (scream!) books, then home.

He was tired so I suggested a nap til his fav show came on. The time arrives and he’s “not with me”.

It was so strange – so I offered to turn the TV off and “do you just want to sleep?” Answer is yes.

I was very lonely, kind of freaked, wanting normalcy and whatever else was missing.

Thank God for family – I don’t reveal my deepest, deepest but they seem to know when to call. Then you got to try to be “normal” for the conversation. Help.

Uncategorized

6 Comments

  1. Femail doc
    23/02/2008

    Hard to feel normal when things aren’t even stable with respect to your daily life. After bad news from the pulmnologist on Thursday with respect to my husband’s health, I could not think of a single thing to do–reading, going for a walk, watching TV–to feel normal. Still feel bereft and befuddled. I so appreciate ‘lonely, kind of freaked.’

  2. JeanMac
    23/02/2008

    Sorry, Judy. Tough for you and the man to get poor news.I know that feeling of not being able to do something to “shake” it. Thinking of you today.

  3. annie's eyes
    23/02/2008

    I am sorry to both of you, and can relate to that paralyzed feeling in other ways, but not in the losses you two must know and feel. Please know my heart and prayers are with you. love, annie

  4. Mary
    23/02/2008

    Keep your chin up, Jean. The next morning always seems brighter. A new day.

  5. kenju
    23/02/2008

    Jean, why don’t you share your deepest feelings with your family? They could support you better if they knew, couldn’t they? It’s a nice gesture to be long-suffering in silence, but maybe you’d be better off to let them in on your day-to-day existence.

  6. Laura in L.A.
    23/02/2008

    Jean, speaking as a daughter, I think it is important that your family knows how things really are so that they can better help you. I know it is very hard to discuss. My mother tried to downplay her difficulties with my dad for a long time. She didn’t want to burden us. She still can’t discuss it much without crying, and I have lived with them now since last summer! We email about it–silly as that is, it is easier for her.

    Be honest, particularly with your sons. I know they want to help you as much as they can. They don’t want their mother to feel all alone in this.