29th February
2008
I have put small lamps in every room downstairs. When we sit by the fire, he’ll get up to find a book or go to the washroom and is lost basically every time. Add darkness to the equation and it must be scary.
My solution was to buy those $10.00 lamps at Wal-*art and put one in every room or area – I just have 15 watt bulbs but it’s enough for him to find a doorway, etc again. Actually, I found a lovely candlestick lamp for $4.00 at a thrift shop.
Another real confusion is 2 or 3 way switches. What a curse to him now. The only solution I can think of is to use a felt marker as Annie suggested – but then the world can see so I hesitate.
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Jean, what does it matter if “the world can see”? You contradict yourself; at times, you worry that people cannot see his difficulty, and now you try to prevent it.
That said, could you, instead of marking things up with felt pens, make neat little paper signs and hang them with push pins, or that removable putty stuff. Or just little masking tape squares, neatly printed with the appropriate labels. (Print on the roll first, tear the labels off, and trim them tidily with scissors.)
If you know the “Joneses” are coming, you can easily take down your signs, and put them up again later.
Although, maybe the “Joneses” need to see that they can let down their guard, too.
Good comment- guess what I meant is he may be embarrassed if people came and saw signs.
That is a valid concern. Try this; fib a bit. Have a visitor (your sister, maybe) feign confusion over one of the switches. After she’s gone, make a bit of a fuss over it, and make the signs “so she won’t be confused again.”
It might work.
Jean, the important thing is that he finds his way with a minimum of confusion. If you don’t want to use a marker, buy small labels from an office supply store and write the name on the label. If you must, you could remove them with people come to the house (although I don’t see what difference it makes).
P.S. I wrote that before reading other’s comments….LOL. I suppose I ought to do that first, to avoid repetition.
Darkness is a good metaphor for this, and you light up W.’s life in so many ways. You are a lifesaver to him. And the way you respect his dignity makes me try to be more respectful of my own husband’s dignity–never at his expense. I used to be one of those people you hate that make a joke at someone else’s expense. Not any more. Not funny, and not any more. Love to you, annie