Archive for February, 2008

Backed out of the garage, waiting for door to go down.

Me: “Have your seat belt on?”

Him: “Yup, both of them.”

I look over at him and he’s smiling that familiar old smile. He is so full of it and I love him so.

So many suffer so much more and what do I whine about? I miss playing crib or checkers or any game.

His electronic chess board is packed away – I have to go thru stuff and give it to our sons. They both play chess so maybe they’ll have to share it – 6 months your place and 6 months at mine:)

We had a good day today. Shopped in “the city” which is 30 minutes away. We had planned to drop into S&R’s for coffee but had too many perishables and frozen stuff.

There is a history with us – we go to DQ for a meal maybe once a year. Today we parked there, pulled on the door handle and nearly dislocated my shoulder – What! It’s permanently closed. Uh, next closure, could you post a sign? Yes, we could go to one of 4 others but this one had “our booth”.

Too funny – we parked at DQ which is 200′ from Safew*y – he wondered if they have shuttle service – - -

We were standing in line at the grocery, our order being rung in, when he turned to the “person” behind him and asked if she wanted to go ahead of us. (She had 2 bags of chips and 2 large pop in hand) Of course, it was not possible but it was his gesture of kindness which counted.
“No,” very sarcastically spoken with a look of total disdain, her mouth curled in a cruel smirk. She continued to stare at him til we paid for our order. Her countenance said “I can’t believe what I’m seeing” sort of look. Thank the good Lord he was oblivious as now had his back to her again.

Fury and fire surged thru my body, the cruelty of a rude young twirp about 30 years of age, dressed to pretend she was still 16, a roll of fat over her low slung jeans with cheap silver – studded plastic belt.

I told him to stay with Brenda for a moment (our neighbor) and followed the rude young lady out of the store. “Excuse me.” Her reply was ice, “Yes?”

“I have to apologize that my husband bothered you. You see his brain is diseased, he has Alzheimer’s but he still manages to delve deep into it to offer you kindness and courtesy which you have yet to develop in your 40 some years.”

“I am not 40!”

Justice for all, I thought, as I turned and walked back to the store – smirking to myself.

Today was so difficult and weird. We went to the library and the thrift shop he likes for (scream!) books, then home.

He was tired so I suggested a nap til his fav show came on. The time arrives and he’s “not with me”.

It was so strange – so I offered to turn the TV off and “do you just want to sleep?” Answer is yes.

I was very lonely, kind of freaked, wanting normalcy and whatever else was missing.

Thank God for family – I don’t reveal my deepest, deepest but they seem to know when to call. Then you got to try to be “normal” for the conversation. Help.

We don’t want firsts, firsts are for happy, developing children. Tonight I had filled out our forms for our eye exams and my new lenses. He had to sign. Absolutely couldn’t in any way. He tried so hard.

I felt sorry for him and kind of joked that I’d just forge his signature and all would be Ok – he had a faraway look in his eyes – we both knew.

Anyway, have POA so just have to make copies for all the people we deal with “officially” and send them off.

Slowly, I have been changing all the accounts over to my name – the least worrisome or important give me the most hassle! (Sea*s, for example) Was so pleased with our cells provider – when I canceled his cell, she was incredibly understanding. Said she did need to verify with him so told her I’d call when he is awake – no, no, I’ll just do it. Also, she put the account in my name so we won’t run into this again. (She could see the phone had not been used in many months.)

A few years ago I was dealing with a med/dental provider and she asked my PW (which is no longer used). I replied “oldman” – we both burst out laughing – sick humor. I had not intentionally chosen that – it just popped into my head years ago when I set up.

Laugh or cry -