20th July
2008
Just got word that our friend is very near the end of her journey. She has been in hospital since the 25th of June.
The four of us met over 28 years ago and the 3 worked together for years.
Now, I have told Wayne that she is ill and, when we discussed it, he said he wanted to attend her funeral.
I’m torn but think it’s best for him to go, in that he’ll see lots of people he knows and also pay his respects – in the next thought, I think, “No.”
I’ll fax our MD, he is so terrific and gives me a call back.
Again, any suggestions/opinions?
I think your MD will give you good advice.
I think you know what is likely to happen–there will be moments of confusion, and perhaps moments of recollection.
Maybe the best thing would be to do what you think YOU can handle. W will not know what he can handle.
I would let him go, if you have someone who can help. We never know what is going on in their mind. Perhaps they understand more than we know on a deep level of thier soul but have no way to express it. There will be a time when this question will not even be asked. Maybe, you need to gather rosebuds where you can now.
But of course, his MD would be the best one to advise you. You will be in my prayers.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend.
I wish that I had some wonderfully wise opinion about what you should do regarding the funeral…but, I really have no idea what would be best. I hope that your dr. gives you the information that you need to make your decision.
Take care,
xoxo
I guess it depends when the time comes. Even if you make plans today, they may not work out on “the day”. I’m not trying to discourage you. This has been my experienced with Hubby. We make plans and then he has an exacerbation or has a particularly tiring day and we have to cancel.
Hope things turn out for the best.
Hugs,
W
Like the others, I think his MD can offer helpful thoughts, and then you can decide. If you never mention her again, would he bring it up? Could you deal with those who may not know about his diagnosis, but notice something is amiss?
I am so sorry about your friend. I know you are sad too.
Hope your MD will be able to shed some light on the subject. If it were me, I don’t think I would go. Not only would it be a normal stress of attending a funeral of a friend but the added stress of knowing how to handle whatever may arise with a husband who may or may not be able to relate to the situation. It would be too much for me I am sure but you have shown amazing strength so you would have to answer for yourself.
I am praying for a peaceful passing for your friend, and for loving answers for your heart which hurts. And I am sorry for your loss in not being able to share this with strong Wayne, the one who would help you both through your grief. There are losses on multiple levels and you could use a strong shoulder. Would either of your sons be able to come up and go with you? I think it would be appropriate to ask them. Or maybe Shirl would be feeling up to it. I would like to see you have some support too, through this. Much love and prayers, Annette