Archive for July, 2008

Sitting in his den this morn, opened a drawer and saw an envelope with his writing on it.

“Prescription for blood pressure pills”

Curious, I opened it and found a prescription for high blood pressure, dated June 2001. So glad I found it because for several years he had been (un)treated for HBP. The poor Md’s would try different meds and dosages to no avail – no wonder!

Until December 2003, he was still driving, so would go to his appointments during work hours. Naturally, I would have assumed he filled his prescription. Plus, I didn’t know that we had such a serious (AD) disease affecting him. If I had known, I’d have checked on the meds.

The reason I write this post is that I felt badly toward two different physicians who appeared not able to bring his BP under control. Felt even worse when I read articles HBP/AD and wondered if he’d have been OK if they had been able to find the correct medicine. (So sorry, Dr. E and Dr. P)

Once the disease was diagnosed and I took him to appointments, miraculously our third physician was able to “fix” his HBP.

So, for those of you who may have a family member in the foggy, no man’s land of prediagnosis, please check that prescriptions are being filled and further, that the medicine is being taken!

I had a real problem getting Wayne up for home care this morn – woke him at 10:30am and thought I heard him in the bathroom. He was asleep again. Told him the aide was coming and he had to be up,”Why?” So plaintive.

Seems I should be able to let him sleep – would be the easiest shift any care aide put in – but, I love that they take him for a walk. He never resists them about walking.

Went to HD to check out screen, doors, carpet and vinyl and showers. No prices on anything and couldn’t get help – everyone was busy. “I’m busy, too, you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Off to Safe*ay, grabbed a cart and had forgotten my list at home, could barely believe it.

Over to Taco Ti*e and bought a burrito – best part of my day! Sat in the car, set the timer and read the book I always take along.

Felt guilty as it was really a wasted care day.

Had our new bed delivered yesterday so he was up at 8:15am. It’s pure Heaven to lie on and between Heaven and fatigue, he napped on and off all day.

At bedtime I asked he if he enjoyed the new bed – “New bed?”

Today is my day out – no specific plans except to research for screen doors and new carpet for the lower level. We had excellent product and service from Home Dep*t when they installed new interior doors so I’ll go back. Also, new flooring in all 3 baths – tile? Not sure, think I’ll stick with vinyl – a creature of habit.

I’m asking about a phantom screen for the door to the garage – we get a wonderful breeze and lots of sunshine as it faces west. The other screen doors will be regular – I need a wee lock on it to make me feel more comfortable.

Thank you, Everyone, for your comments last post. Basically, Life is good.

* First, thank you to everyone who comments, gives ideas and suggestions, or a much needed hug.

* Please don’t feel badly for me. I get thru each day by faith and lots of love.

* I sometimes write a post and delete it for fear of being too open, be warned, I think it better to post them – but don’t be upset for me.

* Your hearts are tender and I hate writing something that upsets or draws a tear. For me, Alzheimer’s disease used to represent a condition wherein the person “can’t remember anything”. It is much more complex and horrible. It’s standing with a bar of Dov* soap in your hand, wondering if it’s your deodorant, it’s using your spoon to try to pierce a nugget of chicken, it’s not knowing the seasons, your address, phone number or birth date. It’s no longer being able to write and sign your name.

* When I first started this blog, it was to be in place of a book I intended to write. I have many note books documenting the journey which started probably in 1999 and manifested itself in 2000 – welcome to the new millennium:)

* Our path is becoming more complicated – I see changes weekly. Daily. These changes may not be evident to family and friends because he would never be in their presence when wondering if a bar of soap were his deodorant or this morn, coming down the hall with his toothpaste and toothbrush held out, asking, “Which is my toothbrush?” (I love that he is comfortable enough with me to ask.)

* He wouldn’t wander out to the living room with his jammies on backwards, looking forever like the tousled haired child of the 40′s or totally upset trying to get a T-shirt over his head.

* He wouldn’t forget to eat, shave or to comb his hair, change his clothes, fuss about bathing – his former self being spit ‘n polished.

* Strangers wouldn’t look at him with disdain when trying to give his order at a restaurant. You look too good, Hon. Maybe if you had something to label you, they may have a bit of empathy. Probably not, for this type person would not have empathy tucked in their soul.

* But what he hasn’t forgotten is how to laugh and be happy most of the time, like 98% of the time. He cares for people and animals. His humor actually keeps me going and when it ceases, well, probably I’ll cease, too.

* So, the story will carry on, not to make you sad but hopefully to give you a glimpse into the daily life of two people. Alzheimer’s disease represents both of us, our lives are so intertwined – how we deal with it – is whether we win or lose.

After his bath, we were standing in the ensuite. Told him to get his deodorant, in clear view on a clear glass shelf – where it has been for 18 years.

“This?” as he picked up a bar of D*ve.

Can’t describe the feelings which rush through my heart and soul at that moment.