We see our family doctor Sept. 9th and our specialist in October. Will ask them about these long times in bed.
I am afraid he has given up – can he know to do that?
Yesterday, got him up around 3:30pm, he ate his meal, sat with me for a bit and back to bed til 8:30pm We retired at 11pm – he slept soundly right away.
It’s now 2:11pm and he has not been up -
In order to handle the distress (better than I am doing now), will pretend he’s at work all day. At least then I can pretend it’s normal that I’m alone. Once 5pm comes, I’ll deal with his sleeping.
As Ruth said in her comment, usually families deal with the reverse – which is so much more difficult.
Thank you for your words of support and suggestions. Drives me crazy as I’m a “want to know” type person. I like facts and figures, not abstracts. Even in school, let me memorize that which is fact – black and white. Forgot the world and the human body are not always presented in black and white.
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I think there might be several other possibilities–I am no medical professional, but these seem plausible to me; perhaps he might be experiencing one or more of them.
First, sleeping is for him simply a very easy option, in that he is getting (and/or understanding) increasingly fewer meaningful stimuli. Probably when you wake up, you start thinking about the things you want or need to do; if he doesn’t do that any more, there may be less need or incentive for him to get up on any waking. It doesn’t occur to him. So he just goes back to sleep. And sleeping is something that he can easily do, and can succeed at, as opposed to many other activities that he fails at, or that confuse or bewilder him.
And he is in the middle of all the cues that say “Sleep”–he is lying down, in bed, in his pajamas, with his head on the pillow, and with sheets and blankets. Those are all “time to sleep” messages. And they are all tactile or kinesthetic messages, just as you are finding that it is useful to use your hand to guide him.
Second, there are times that I want to go back to sleep in the morning just because I was having a dream that was making me very happy, and I want that happy feeling to continue; this occasionally happens even if I don’t really recall what I was dreaming. This might be happening to him, but not just in the morning. Maybe, during sleep, his mind is furnishing him with endorphins that make him happy, just as some people get happy from the endorphins that physical exercise gives them. (I have read about “runner’s high”; I haven’t experienced it.)
Third, there may be physical deterioration for which his body is telling him to sleep, just as you sleep more when you have the flu.
None of these ideas are “black and white,” sorry; and from what little I have read about Alzheimer’s, I doubt that there’s any way that you could know if any or all of them might be relevant to him.
But just as you are probably better off with him sleeping enough and in big enough stretches, rather than in such erratic naps that you can’t handle the situation, so I think that you are better off in that he doesn’t seem to be terrified by his dreams, and therefore resistant to lying down and sleeping, and he doesn’t seem to be having distressing hallucinations, which I understand can happen with this disease.
Pat
I’m sure you are anxious to see the doctor soon so you’ll understand this better! I wish I could offer to help you, or to go to lunch with you! Know that I am praying for you!
Much love,
Angie xoxo
p.s. I’m just like you when it comes to wanting things to make sense!
Pat, thanks. I think you are correct in that it is easier for him to just sleep. he used to have terrible nightmares(in the night).My worry is bed sores but he does turn over a lot so will see what Dr. D says.
Angie, lunch may come some day – when I’m able, I plan to swing thru several states to meet bloggers face to face. Maybe you, Annette and I can meet at a Beth weekend someday.
I’m one of those “have to figure it out” types, too, so I can relate to your frustrations. When something isn’t “logical” I can’t stop thinking about it until I can make some sense to it. God gave me something I couldn’t explain, too,with anxiety, and it has been the most frustrating thing. Nothing rational works-it is the very nature of it. It is irrational. I guess you and I will have to rest in knowing He knows.
And I will look forward to that day when we can meet face to face and if Beth Moore happens to be part of it, that’d be so good, too. Take care, Jean. You are being prayed for this hour. Love, Annette
Hope you get some answers from the doctor. It’s not easy…..
Pat seems to have wonderful ideas for you…I feel for you and hope you are making it day by day…hope the doctor will help you in letting him know about his sleeping so much.