Archive for August, 2008

He doth protest to go walking – when I suggest it, he turns in his chair to look out the window – checking the weather. Then smiles, “What if it rains, snows, is windy, too sunny, too hot, too cold.” etc.

I got up early to get my work done well in advance. We were to be meeting S&R for lunch at a nice little place in town.

Woke him, washed him, etc. and he was vague but very polite. Not interested in a coffee or the paper (which has been for a bit now). Gave him his breakfast.

Told him I’d go shower and he could rest in his chair – I wandered into the living room to his question, “Where are we going?”

“For lunch with S&R.”

Quiet moment. Asked him if he were Ok and he answered yes. Asked if he were feeling ill. No. Felt his forehead.

Are you depressed or upset to go out? (Searching, searching.)

He assured me he is not ill, etc. and I asked if he’d prefer to go to bed. He headed down the hall and before I got there was fully under the covers with the quilt pulled tightly to his chin.

So, had to call S&R: “He won’t go.”

I think we are at another bend in the road and it’s not one I look forward to traveling.
Realize now, it’s no good to make plans with people – I guess I’ll have to invite them to our house. If he is in bed, that will be OK.

Update: 4:06pm – he does not remember anything about the above and said he can’t understand why he’d not want to go.

I opened the fridge for water, he was standing beside me. In order to make him feel helpful, I often ask him to do something easy – water jug in hand, glass on cabinet.
“Would you please pour the water for me?”

He happily did that, put the water back in the fridge. After he closed the door, announced he would like a glass of water, also.

“Where would the best place be to get it?”

So his night thrashing in bed continues – despite the new prescription he’s been on for a month. There was quite a list of side effects and he displayed a couple.

Hoping they have something else to try – Wayne sleeps with his arm bent on his pillow and it’s rather disconcerting when it flings toward me in the night.

He can’t be getting a restful sleep.

We see a geriatric psychiatrist every 4 months – he always ends my part of the visit saying to remember that I can book anytime on my own, if necessary. The appointments are for Wayne – the Doc sees Wayne first but he sees me to tell me what he has found.

So Monday I’ll book an appt. to discuss what’s happening. I know he can’t stop it or make it go away or make it better. After a visit discussing what is happening at home, I feel validated in a weird sort of way.

My Hon seems so absolutely bored at times. He goes to bed a few hours after he gets up. He has not much interest in food. His leg and thigh muscles are “caving” in for lack of a better word – large dents about 10″ long and 2″ wide and rather deep.

I’m kind of stressed and tired and can’t discuss it with him, of course. So, I need to talk to the Doc.