Archive for September 17th, 2008

Slept 10 hours last night – only up a couple times to settle things down – can barely remember being awake – kind of like when one is so, so tired with a new born.

My BIL woke me at 8:30 am as he knew I had physio at 10 am. Wish I could pay him to stay a bit longer but he leaves Friday morn.

Wayne has totally enjoyed having a guy to hang out with – I hope some day to be able to repay his and his wife’s kindness to us on our journey.

And many thanks to all of you for your comments of support – again, hope I am able to repay your kindness in some small way someday – hopefully not in regard to a journey like this, though.

So after being up all night – well, til 3:30am last night, or this morn – it’s a chemical night coming up.

I can’t hack another sleepless night – I have a magic bottle at the ready – for him, not me. This morning I could barely function.

Good night, sleep tight. Hopefully – - -

So the day was spent doctoring, me, not him. Our doc deserves medals but I’ve mentioned that before. He stepped through the door, then turned back. I looked up wondering what last minute wisdom he had to offer. Instead, he caught my eyes, “You sure you’re Ok?” What a dear man. “Yeah, thanks, I’m Ok, I always am.” He understood and closed the door.

He knew my man several years before diagnosis so it’s unsettling for him to watch, also.

I have yet to resort to meds on this journey – I’ve mentioned before that our doc suggested trying it “drug free” so to speak – it was early in the game and he told me I was grieving – he worked me thru it. It’s kind of been like booking a trip blind folded and then getting blind sided.

No one knows what the days hold and everyone’s story is different. Comparisons don’t make any sense – one has to handle it herself, drawing deep into her own reservoir of strength. Strength for mental and physical wellness from within her soul.

Some days (or nights) I feel it would be helpful to have a pocket full of pills to munch on – but I resist. (Where is your magic pen, Doc?) I need to be alert – but not that rotten 2:30am alert. We even disturbed our guest last night, as we worked getting settled – three sleep deprived souls on a morning run.