Archive for October, 2008

I have to apologize to my blogger friends. Most days, I read all blogs and comment – unless I’m speechless – that’s rare:)

Anyway, as Life becomes a bit more intense for us (me), I don’t always have time to listen to the great music posted – which I love. Please know it’s not because I don’t want to spend the time to listen.

Haven’t recovered from the shock of his forgetting my name – even tho I did suspect it for several months. It would make sense to “just give it up” and not dwell on it but I do. The worst part, this makes it impossible to speak with our sons without crying. I could barely babble my tale of woe to them. Now, that helps no one, especially them. I manage better with my sister and brother, a bit better but it’s always there.

So maybe Doc will bring out his magic pen when I see him – or maybe I will be over it. All I know is that I hate to worry that I’ll burst into tears. My dear man gets thru his days, oblivious to all the commotion in my heart and our lives. As Marth* would say, “That’s a good thing.”

PS If anyone has a suggestion, I’m open to hear it.

So the World Se*ies game was suspended due to rain. We decided to watch the game in bed, drinking tea! Why, yes, we do lead an exciting life:)

Anyway, he got rain in his head and proceeded to worry about “our heavy rainfall”, whether our neighbor’s drive would flood, etc. Seems I couldn’t get him off the topic.

Finally I thought of heating some Clam chowder – worked – forgot all about the rain, which wasn’t.

A happy thought – our sweet, young neighbors invited us for dinner Wednesday. How nice is that?

So now I make sure that I am seated beside him for meals. If we are guests, this also applies. My Sister figured this out a while ago. He needs help occasionally.

At Thanksgiving, he lifted both knife and fork up, looked at them, put them down again. Then he proceeded to just use the fork – including trying to cut his meat with it. I got up and silently set the knife on his plate and he “got it”. But, no more. I will sit beside him.

S&R kept their same seating arrangement but we sit together – he didn’t comment – don’t think he noticed.

My name is Jean and you married me over 43 years ago, my Love. It’s been a riot of laughs being with you – until. But it’s Ok, I know that you know me – who cares about a name?

This very scenario is why I taught you our secret code, so when I use it, you will remember me and how we loved, laughed and danced our years away.

Actually, Hon, I never, ever thought about your forgetting my name, me but not my name. Weird,eh? If one has to be grateful for small mercies, this is one – who cares about a name? You still know me and my touch. You still laugh. You still make me laugh. What more could I ask for.

A name is only a name.

***Note to self: Oct.6/08 is when Doc told me about the name – I have suspected for sometime.

Lately, I’ve wondered if he could still read.

Last night he read a headline to me, happy, happy, happy!