Archive for December 4th, 2008

I always wonder if what I’m doing is correct. It seems so difficult for him to function in every aspect of his life. Would he be better served and looked after in care? Life would be less confusing, maybe. At home, he tries to find his way to the room he wants. Usually it’s an exercise in confusion until I get up and help.

Lights are really an issue and it would be much easier if he just didn’t try to turn them off/on.

Bathing is more difficult and in January, I hope the aides will take over. As I toweled him off tonight, I caught a glimpse of a haggard lady in the mirror. Barely knew myself. Then I smiled and it was a better image!

Buddy, the cat, is always foremost in his mind – he forgets to eat or shave but never forgets Buddy. I’ll bet he goes up and down the stairs 20 times a day changing the water dish. Wish he had never thought of putting one downstairs – not necessary. My fear is his falling.

His jeans and shirt pockets are filled with tissues and table napkins. Tonight, I emptied the pockets to throw the clothes in the laundry. As I went to toss the old paper, he sternly said, “I’ll be needing those.” So, back went his little pile of treasures.

If someone had suggested (years ago) we’d be on a journey like this, I’d have not believed it. But here we are. Talked to MiHwa today – she and Mark are very excited to be coming for Christmas. When I told her it was wonderful and important they were spending a week this year, she said, “I know, Mom.” The love of family.

He paced a bit before settling at the patio door, gazing into the back yard. It’s a familiar pose from years gone by, he likes to stand there and look at the pool and decks – but this time I could see the wheels turning.

“I think I’ll go for a walk while you exercise.”

Usually I do 30 minutes on the tread mill while he has a rest. It was -3 degrees, no sidewalks, no streetlights in our mountain neighborhood, orchards run for miles and it was just getting dark when all this transpired. So I laced up my runners.

Not sure how long this journey will be, how many more twists in the road. One thing I do know, have to be extra diligent now that winter is here. If he ever took off thru an orchard, I think only tracking dogs would be able to find him at night.

Phoning the GPS store today to see if there is a personal tracking device I could put in his wallet.