28th February
2009
When I picked him up after discharge, he told me that he ran from room to room looking for my car. “Sometimes, I’d just see your tail lights as you drove by.”
It broke my heart. I told him that I was not allowed to visit the entire time and there are a lot of cars same color as ours.
“I knew what time you arrived for work in the morning and when you were thru work.” (I am retired)
“I ran from room to room, just trying to catch a glimpse of you.”
My heart is aching – - -
(I forgot to mention that he ended his story with the Peep*ng T*m note – I wondered if maybe a staff said he couldn’t (understandably) go into a patient’s room in order to look out their window:)
10 Comments
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Oh, Jean. I’m sorry W’s homecoming from respite has been so hard on you emotionally. It’s so unfair.
You had to do what you had to do. The 24/7 care of an AD patient is NOT a job for one person. And it gets tougher on the caregiver as time goes on. You MUST see to your own health. That is just a fact. W was safe and cared for during the respite.
Do you read the blog The Alzheimer Spouse? http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com
I find the message boards to be very helpful and comforting. (Even though I am a daughter and not a spouse.) It’s real nuts-and-bolts info about all aspects of caregiving.
I am praying for you and W. I hope things get easier for you at home as time goes on.
Love, Laura
Would this help?
A poster on the wall that says “Jean will pick Wayne up at 3pm Friday,” with a picture of a clock fact with the hands pointed at the three. Maybe a picture of the two of you on the poster, also, and/or a picture of your car?
Then ask the helpers to respond to queries or anxieties by pointing at his poster, and saying, “It isn’t Friday (or three o’clock) yet, but she’ll be back to pick you up before too much longer.”
I think that the picture of the clockface might make it look like a certainty even if he couldn’t tell time. And when he can no longer read, the helper could say, “The sign says, … And she’ll be back to pick you up before too much longer.”
*sigh* (Hugs)
Oh my, how difficult for you. You are clearly deep in his heart, and now you know how strong and firm your image is for him whether or not he pulls out your name.
I thought the same thing as femail doc – about your name.
Jean, I am so sorry that he is unwittingly putting a huge guilt trip on you about this. You need the time away and now I fear you won’t ever do it again because of his reaction.
Wow, Jean…that’s a difficult thing to hear. Heartbreaking. He’s so sweet; I feel like I know him personally.
I continue praying for both of you. Since I’ve attended church (two weeks in a row now), God is really listening to me now…so don’t you worry!
My heart is breaking for both of you – I wish that this didn’t have to be so hard on you!
Heartbreaking. But everything will be alright. I like Anne’s suggestion.
Mary
Laura, thanks for the link. I spent some time there.
Anne, great idea.
Thanks SMB.
Doc, bittersweet.
Judy, thanks.I do hesitate but know I’ll have to do it.
Scarlet, you’d love him! Any and all prayer is welcome.
Dog Geek, it’s is getting better but the past week was really tough.
Mary, thanks!
Hugs, Jean.