This time I wrote on recipe cards, noting that I would be back, do not worry, I love you and I will be back to take you home.
I put a card in each shirt pocket and each pair of pants. Also, I taped a card on his bedside table, by his mirror, on both closet doors and on his toiletrie bag. Pick up seemed easier this time and I thought this was the reason.
Days later, a week to be specific, our world crumbled for a day. Three times on Sunday, he came down the hall totally confused, very distraught and seeming to not know me. When I’d say that it was me and use our “code” he’d kind of half believe it.
Our son and DIL were here and we could only guess he’d had a bad dream and was upset.
We invited guests for dinner (friends and family) and he was happy and laughing.
By evening he was exhausted and I suggested “a rest” for 15 minutes. A few minutes later, down the hall, confused, very unhappy and agreed that maybe he’d had a dream – “doesn’t matter”. Finally, he felt around on the wall (which I now realize was for his card saying I’ll be back) and kind of lost it in tears. Soon as I caught on, I assured him he was home, that it was I who was holding him and that he had been home for several days.
It’s tough to watch your man cry til his shoulders shake and his eyes are swollen. It’s tough for our family to see.
I sat and rocked him for maybe 20 minutes til the veil of confusion was gone. Son and DIL walked into the room during this time. Hated for them to witness his pain as it’s their pain.
Happy to report, no more incidents and I do think “it’s over”, riddle solved.
I ask, cards next time or not? I’m sure they helped at the moment but – - -
9 Comments
No words….just praying. Hugs…Mary Lou
Oh my…even reading this post was hard…you go through so much…together! It sounds as if the cards ‘did’ bring him comfort, and were effective. We shift my 92 yr. old mom back and forth somewhat, sharing in her care, several times a month, and she said that it was very hard to remember where she was, and with whom.
Oh, the pain of AD…I remember similar things with my mother. Trying to out think this horrible disease. Your love for him is always evident. Hugs to you too.
I think if there is any possibility that the cards helped him not to worry too much, it is a good thing to do.
Oh, I agree, reading this post was hard for me too! Keep your chin up, Jean. I’m holding you and your dear hubby in my heart.
Hugs
I guess yes–if you can gather them all up after.
Sending a hug and a prayer your way. I can’t imagine. I don’t even have an opinion–which is rare! I’ve been recovering a few days from surgery and missed a lot, sadly, of some tough days for you. Blessings of wisdom, courage and love, Annette
Laminate those cards and keep them around at all times. Might make wherever he is, feel more “safe”.
HUGS and prayers to you both…..always.
Jean, I think the cards are a very good thing. We post a daily “itinerary” for Dad, and it seems to have a calming effect.
You might just be faced with a new phase of the disease. I’m noting more confusion and “emotion” as time goes on. The only good thing is that Dad forgets quickly, and he can usually be distracted. It’s still an upsetting experience for the family. I’m so sorry.
Love, Laura