26th October
2009
He has known/not known me off and on for quite a long while. It shouldn’t bother or surprise me now, think I’d get used to it.
Anyway, last night, I tucked him in, told him I loved him and gave him a hug.
He answered, “I love you, too.”
This time the answer was different, can’t tell you how or why but it was. Out of curiosity, I asked him if he knew who I was.
“No idea, is that close enough?” Then he proceeded to laugh rather wildly, very unlike Wayne.
It bothered me a lot, still don’t know why. I’ve read where AD patients refuse to allow spouses to sleep in the same bed, etc. as they perceive them to be maids or housekeepers, etc.
16 Comments
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Oh Jean, These situations are so hard/hearbreaking/maddening and scary!! I so wish we were blogging about something other than Alzheimer’s, but I’m thankful to have blogging friends to listen and share with.
Until Alzheimers, David and I always cuddled, but he doesn’t like for me to sleep close to him anymore……funny though…. he doesn’t mind the dog cuddling with him…..I can handle it, but it still feels strange.
Love,
Dolores
Eeks! That must have given you quite a turn! I hope he was only kidding.
Hugs
Well, I guess he could have said something other than he loves you.
It is most unsettling, I am sure.
Jean, no matter what AD causes Wayne to say or not to say – at least you know in your heart how very much he loves you! The selfless acts of caregiving you give are such tributes to that love…Blessings!
Marsha is right. Don’t let it bother you at all, since you know he can’t help it.
Oh my! You got a real shock…how can that not affect you and zing your heart. That damn disease robs you of everything! I’d smack it around if I could for you…you understand it so well, and roll with the punches though.
God bless you for your efforts in this journey you are taking with your life’s partner. You soar or crash dive…
Oh, Jean…. unsettling for sure. I don’t know if that is really the kind of thing that one gets used to. What a journey you are on…
Again, like these girls said, it’s hard and unsettling.
Remember it is AD talking not Wayne.
Who can be prepared for things like this….The mind understands but the heart breaks.
There are no words. I agree with everyone else. Praying for your strength and endurance. Blessings..Mary Lou
Hi Jean, I’ve been so out of the loop. Just wanted to say hi and give you a hug. Not for all the things you endure but just because.
{{{Jean}}}
I am so, so sorry. This weekend, for the first time since her diagnosis three years ago, my mother-in-law did not recognize my husband. It is heart breaking. Words truly cannot explain.
I am so sorry . I used to love to crawl in bed with mom even at my age now. But no way she yells. She will not even let me lay my head on her shoulder anymore. I miss mommy lovin.
I know it must be so hard for you to hear that even tho you know that it is just the disease talking. When my mother was sick with cancer, she wouldn’t know me at times due to all the medications. It broke my heart. She usually thought that I was my sister, her sister or someone else that she knew. I figured that maybe she was missing them and I was able to let her think that she was with them. We seem to find little ways to make the hurt better.
Big hugs today,
SMB
Hi, Jean ~ One time when I told Bob, “I love you,” he sarcastically said, “No, you don’t.” Although I knew it was the AD talking, it still hurt. It’s impossible to not feel hurt when they say things like that, but just keep reminding yourself that it’s not the real Wayne talking. It’s almost a year now since Bob died — seems like yesterday. I miss him SO much, but am glad he was freed from the awful misery of Alzheimer’s. I sure do know what you’re going through. Take care of YOU. Love ~ Suzy
I’ve always said that AD is hardest on the people that love them. It’s such a cruel disease and I hate it for you.
HUGS