2nd December
2009
So, on Monday morning I discharged Wayne to my care. After speaking with the RN on his ward, I decided I could care for him again myself.
There are many pages in the story between Monday morn and Tuesday at 3:30pm – long story short, I realized I could not do it. He is back in care, where he should be. Lesson learned.
They had not released his bed to someone else, knowing very well I would be back shortly! ***Note to self, trust those in the know.
Thanks to all – I will be soon posting but need to get my head on straight before I do something dumb again.
Dad made that mistake. I think it is fairly common; you get rested up a bit, and think you can handle it. You forget the difficulties so quickly!
You’re fortunate; Mom made such a fuss, and Dad delayed so long in taking her back in, that her place had been given to someone else. He had to wait months, until he was so weary that he swayed as he walked.
You remain in my prayers. It is the hardest time for you and I hope you can not be too hard on yourself. My uncle tried to keep his wife at home and it lasted 2 days….will be thinking of you…
Dearest Jean, please forgive yourself for being human. This is a very common thing to do, as others have said. Placement is a huge step, and you are going to need to give yourself time to adjust. You have made the right decision; please trust yourself. Praying for peace for you and Wayne. Love, Laura
Oh Jean…… this must be so terrible for you; I can only imagine. I’m so glad they still had a place for Wayne.
You always remain in my thoughts and prayers!
I think it was likely a good thing that this happened. You have no doubts now about where he will get the care he needs and you will get the rest you need. You have done your best.
Jean–what you did was not dumb. It may have not been the best decision, but it certainly wasn’t dumb. What you did, to try to resume primary care for W, was born of love and caring. That’s not dumb.
Don’t beat yourself up,you were following your heart. I am thankful they still had his bed for him and you didn’t have to go thru an ordeal. Felt like somehting was wrong, praying that you will have peace and rest in the fact that he is in the safest place and best place for both of you. You have been the very best wife ever and are still the best wife ever. He is a very blessed person to have you and you are a beautiful example to your family. Prayers and hugs.
This series of events was necessary to assure you that you’re doing the right thing. The best thing for the both of you. It will take some time to get your brain wrapped around it and get comfortable with the decisions made, but it will eventually come. Take some time for yourself. Maybe a trip is in order so you can refocus and regroup.
HUGS
Aww, Jean -how traumatic for you. I can feel your torment. Sending you healing thoughts.
That’s a perfectly understandable thing to do, Jean, but I am glad you realized that mistake and rectified it.
I sometimes question my decision to place Elbert but my children help keep my head on straight. I know that had to be so very hard for you, to make that decision and then have to undo it. I am thinking of you and wish you more peace and rest in the future.
It is a common problem we all have….making decsions from the heart or head and trying to convince the two into unity. Stay strong and be a peace, this is the right decision.
Wayne is where he is safe and cared for as are you. Decisions are never easy to make, especially this one. Give yourself and Wayne some time to adjust. He will mostly likely make the transistion easier than you because you have all the knowledge of what is going on. I say a prayer for you both every day. Hang in there and take care
Wayne is probably making it better than you. Hang in there and maybe it will get easier as time goes by. I know you have gone the extra mile to keep him home. Some days I wonder how much longer I can do it. You have been an inspiration to me. I think of you often.
I think my mistake is not putting mom in a home earlier. It is just a never ending pain in my brain. Should I keep her or should I let her go. I have had her in a home twice for short stays and I want her back . I miss her and worry all the time. Than when she is back it only takes one day to want to take her back. Help!!!! You are in my prayers.
Hi Jean,
Spending a little time here catching up. What you did isn’t dumb. It’s something you did from your heart.
I’m glad Wayne is in good care. Keep your chin up.
Mary
Love is never dumb. You led with your heart that’s all. Bless you Jean. This has got to be so hard. Prayers are coming your way.
Your love amazes me! I admire you more than you’ll ever know! I’m praying for you!
Love, Angie xoxoxoxoxoxo
This has to be so hard for you. It’s no wonder you are second guessing your decisions. Our brains tell us what the right thing to do is but our hearts sometimes beg to differ. Hard to know which to listen.
Hugs,
SMB
I too think this was a necessary thing for you to do to fully realize that it is now beyond you. You did your best and continue to do your best, it’s just time to shift gears and share the load.
Hugs
Thinking of you…….
HUGS
Ooo I feel for you, really I do. I’m just gearing up [mentally] myself as Nonna comes back to us on Thursday armed with three months supply of medication [hope we get through customs o.k.!] Wish me luck.
It’s only natural to have a hodgepodge of emotions and feelings during this time. He’s been yours, and only yours for so, so long. It didn’t feel normal without him, and not caring for him. It’s time though Jean. You were grand, for as long as your could be. You have nothing to regret. You were there. You have to pass on the torch now, as you both enter this new phase. God bless you dear lady.