8th December
2009
I need to win the lotto – being I always forget to buy a ticket, it’s likely I won’t win!
It is increasingly difficult to leave Wayne at the nursing home. The staff and care are great but “I could do better and I want him home with me”.
Today I arrived at supper hour (just to change his day a bit). He was nursing a coffee, waiting for his main course.
I walked around him, into his view. He looked at me, right thru me, “Who are you?”
Tears my heart right out. Luckily the “code” worked and he jumped up and hugged me forever.
We had a great 3 hours and before I left, I washed him, brushed his teeth and got him into his jammies.
Darn, darn, darn.
Dear Jean,
I can only imagine how very difficult it is to have Wayne away from you, and what a loss you must feel. Even though you can go to see him…..not the same. My dear friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you!!!
So glad the ‘code’ worked, and he remembered the one he loves…
Hugs!
Dolores
Jean–don’t do it, don’t try to handle it all yourself again.
I too am glad the code worked, so you & he can connect, but you know in your head that where he is really is the best place for him and for you NOW. It isn’t the best place, if the world was fair. But it is the best place given where things are.
Your heart and your head are conflicting full time I’m sure. What a gift, once he recognized your code, that you had those happy hours. Bet that hug felt wonderful.
Gifts come in the darndest ways….hang in there. We’re thinking of you, and hoping for the best. We know that it’s a tough time for you.
I understand your wanting to do it, but don’t make that mistake again. He is where he needs to be and it is for your sake as well as his. I am so glad he recognizes the code. Will there come a time when he doesn’t?
I wish I could win the lottery and share with you. I would hire a very good full time live in nurse and all the things needed to make moms life perfect.
The code was a brilliant idea. I’m so glad it worked for you.
Hugs,
SMB
Jean, I know how hard it is….I do. You think or know you could do better, and you probably could….but, remember, he is safer there, he is being cared for. It would not be your choice if he did not have this awful disease, but, he does. You are mourning the loss of the way things used to be, allow this. Learn to love the new relationship. The one thing that never changes is the love you share….
Always thinking of you…..
Dear Jean,
Whew boy, this is hard. I don’t know what to say other then I’ll be praying and thinking of you. I know it is tough.
(((HUGS)))
Sandie