So, the second new, fleece blanket has gone missing from Wayne’s bed. He is on a locked, therefore secure ward but patients can roam from room to room, “shopping”.
To say I’m choked is the least. He doesn’t even realize the blanket is missing – he needs it for warmth. Anyway, tomorrow, I’ approaching the nurses’ desk requesting one goes with me from room to room til we find it. The blanket is a bright marine blue, brand new and $40! Did I add it’s very toasty and warm, also?
A couple weeks ago his navy throw from his chair disappeared and has never been recovered. If we don’t recover this fleece, I’m requesting a move to a unit where patients are not quite so far into their disease and don’t wander to others’ rooms.
It’s disappointing for me as the care seems good, the food is fine and Wayne seems to have settled quite well. If I can get him moved to the other unit, it will be good.
Hope all is well with my blogging buddies. (Sorry to sound like a grouch but I feel very grouchy over this – and there are no more at the store so can’t replace it.)
Hmmm… I was just remembering, today, an afghan Mom made before she stopped knitting, and how it had “wandered off” from my aunt’s room in her care home. (Not an Alzheimer’s unit, but others have memory problems, too. Nor was it my aunt who lost it; she needed help to walk.) We never got it back; instead they replaced it with a machine-made throw.
Things like this happen; people get confused, don’t remember what room is theirs, see something that stirs memories, however vaguely (“Oh! Here’s my sister’s sweater! I’d better take it to her!”), and take it away with them, only to discard it somewhere, when they’ve forgotten what they’re doing with it.
Mom, somehow, managed to lose her false teeth; we checked every room, all the wastebaskets, all the bathrooms. Never found them. The staff said that this happens all the time.
True; Mom had started misplacing things at home already; the raw ground beef from the fridge onto the bedroom windowsill in the sunshine, the scissors into the underwear drawer, for example.
The trouble is, it’s the least deteriorated patients (guests) that are the problem. They’re still ambulatory, still capable of carrying out a task, at least for a few minutes, enough to relocate treasured items to another room or stuff them in a wastebin or behind a sofa. The sicker ones sit in their chairs or pick things up and put them down immediately.
We learned the hard way; when my second aunt went into care, we brought home her family heirlooms for safe keeping. The rest was expendable.
I’m sorry this has happened. It is frustrating and disturbing. Just another of the insults this awful disease piles onto us.
Remember that old poem?
“… Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me.
Say I’m growing old, but add;
Jenny kissed me.”
You’ve got that; Wayne loves you. That’s what counts.
Oh that’s too bad. How sad. Items that you lovingly bought for Wayne have carelessly disappeared. I’d be pissed off too!
I’d be grouchy too!!!! Wayne needs his blanket and you paid for it…….
Hoping for a resolution to the disappearing items….
Good to hear from you again…. I’ve been concerned.
Dolores
My Mom is in a nursing home (in another state), and a quilt that I had made for her disappeared. When I was finally able to visit, I happened to glance in a few rooms as I walked by, and her quilt was on another woman’s bed. My Mother’s name had been written on the quilt in pemanent marker, but it had faded with washing. The nurses were very helpful with getting it washed and back to my Mother. It had apparently ended up in the “extra” closet because the name was faded out. Needless to say, we make sure to rewrite Mom’s name at regular intervals. Don’t know if you have Wayne’s name on his blankets, but it has worked for us(so far). It’s not easy, I know that. I was ready to go ballistic when I saw her quilt in another room! However, all in all, this nursing home has really been wonderful.
I had to mark mother’s things and my mother in law’s too. Their room number and names were on thier things in the Sharpie that only fades with washing, and can be renewed. Then the second time, they finally got a label machine that they put the patients names into thier clothes and on their things, like his blanket..doesn’t keep them from “floating” away…but helps you find them a little easier…Had a pair of new shoes to disappear, they said they looked for them…I think one of the aides took them. The corporation gave me the money for a new pair when I gave them the receipt. After that I didn’t buy very expensive things, so tha it didn’t matter as much. That is a shame too, when we can’t buy nice things for our loved ones for fear they will disappear. The patients can’t help it but the staff is not always totally reliable, I am sorry to say…especially here. The aides do not get paid a truly adequate salary. I am sorry this is happening so soon after he moved in. It is a very hard thing to deal with and you shouldn’t have to deal with something like this. Know you are having an extra hard time, since your posts are so far apart. I’ve been saying extra prayers for you. Blessings and hugs and prayers…
You are mighty generous Jean to think patients, in their confusion, are taking Wayne’s things. I’m afraid I would first suspect the Staff. Mother always came up missing her newest clothes. My sister was overly extravagant about her gifts of clothes to mother and it was the things she gave that usually came up missing right away. Confused patients will grab whatever is close. Dishonest staff members are able to spot the good stuff and be discerning in their selection of things that go missing. We discovered one member of the staff who also had a little continual garage sale going out of her home and was selling lots of patient’s missing items. Yep, it only takes one bad apple.
Granny Annie describes my mother’s experiences in both a nursing home and assisted living. Except for a $2500 hearing aid that my mother accidentally discarded herself, all the missing stuff was new. The old stuff hung around forever.
I’m so affected by your love for Wayne. I think of you often.
Grrrr…….I can only imagine the frustration. I hope the blankets turn up soon but in the mean time, maybe Wayne needs to do a little “shopping” of his own. *wink*
HUGS
Any way to pin or anchor the blanket to the bed?
You have every right to be upset about this. When my mom was in a nursing home, I bought a lovely bed jacket which I foolishly paid $75 for. It lasted ONE day! I learned my lesson; never take anything of value into a home of any kind.
My MIL had her diamonds stolen from her room at the nursing home, and then she spotted them on the hand of a woman at dinner time. After that, we locked them up!
Annie is right – my mom’s bed jacket was NOT taken by a patient – but a nurse or staff person!
I’m so sorry. I know I would be grouchy too! My MIL lost a lost of things while she was in a facility. The other patients would come in her room a get things. My husband caught one of them one day and you could have heard him all over the building. In fact the person that was over that floor wouldn’t let him come back for two weeks. She said that no one could come in and talk to their patients like that. I see her side, but I also saw my husbands side. I didn’t hear it because I had stepped out of the building for some necessities. I hope you find the blanket. That is very irritating.
I’m sorry that you are going through such aggravation, but the others have all said what I was thinking as I read your post…the staff.
Jean–we are fine. You are sweet to ask–but mostly we are worried about you. And how you are.
I have no solution to offer. Just thoughts and supportive prayers.
Well! I’d be honked off too!
Forty dollars is a pretty good investment, and it’s silly to just let it go. Onward to the search, good luck, and happy hunting!
Yuck, I made that ‘leave something new’ mistake once at my mom’s NH. Never saw those nice pants again. After that, it was all strictly thrift store stuff. I felt bad about that, but really, all the laundry goes into one boiling hot cauldron, so how long would new have been new? I did find her pillow case on another person’s pillow. I suspect a laundry slip-up rather than thievery in your case.
And of course you love him and want him to be warm and toasty. I am so sorry – hope you figure it out. Sandie
My boss’s mother is in a care home like Wayne’s and I too would not rule out the staff. Sad but true at least in her case. Hope you find it soon.
Hugs