Quick as a whip, Wayne replied,”Oh, I’ve been in and out and busy – not around too much.”

A doctor sitting nearby caught my eye and smiled.

This will probably occur after January 1st.

In case I haven’t said it before with enough emphasis, “I hate you, Alzheimer’s and truly wish you could be conquered – sooner the better.”

We will have family for Christmas and look forward to it.

I patted him our code, “I’ll pay you $10,00 to open your eyes and give me a hug.”

He smiled but never did open his eyes the whole time I was there. “I guess you’re tired today.” He answered he was.

The two care aides came at separate times telling Wayne it was dance time and Elvis would be the music. He nodded.

They left the door ajar so he would be able to hear it and be motivated to dance – he loves dancing.

I sat by his bed and soon as he spoke, he would fall into a deep sleep – I could tell from his breathing.

Held his hand and eventually left with hopes for a brighter day tomorrow.

(Wayne had been to an antique car show and luncheon out the day before – the nurses said he loved it but he’s worn right out from it.)

For several years before Wayne was admitted he no longer enjoyed the “noise” of music but appears to now.

Anyway, we had a nice time wandering around but I sensed an underlying restlessness or discomfort.

Back at his room, he lay down to nap and I sat beside him doing paperwork.

After about a half hour he leaned up on his elbow, a familiar, sweet pose I used to love. “I’m quitting this place.”

Not sure what to say, I tried to distract him and asked if he had a nice nap. He smiled sweetly and said he did and proceeded to discuss his “quitting”. Asked him what was going on – - – “They come in here and steal things, like food.” After much discussion, he felt they stole everything not nailed down. Pointed out the lock on his bureau but it didn’t comfort him – it’s not locked but could be.

Angels abound – his afternoon care aide came smiling inot the room asking how we were – he instantly changed to laughing and smiling – she mocked punched him and he returned it! Before he knew, she had his slippers on and he was on his way for a snack. I called her later to tell her how he was hallucinating – they will keep a watchful eye on him tonight.

Slowly, slowly I am losing him.

After she was out of hearing range he leaned close to me and whispered, “I like to humor them.” It was his smile that said 10,000 words and that dear smile of old.

So, there are days and moments of sunshine, it’s just the whole situation which gets me down. Sorry about the post yesterday but that’s how I felt. Dear friends you all are.

I’m very sorry to have not posted – I go to post and can’t bring myself to do it.

Kind of worried I may be getting depressed but have to shake this off, whatever it is.

*****A bit of good news – today was the first i na long time Wayne seemed to really “recognize” me and talk and be animated. One doesn’t appreciate this til it’s lost.